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This collection of Bierce fables courtesy of http://www.humorsphere.com/
, the number 1 destination for jokes, funny pictures and classic humor. Click
Here to visit HumorSphere.
Thistles upon the Grave
A Mind Reader made a wager that he would be buried alive and remain so for
six months, then be dug up alive. In order to secure the grave against secret
disturbance, it was sown with thistles. At the end of three months, the Mind Reader
lost his money. He had come up to eat the thistles.
A Matter of Method
A Philosopher seeing a Fool beating his Donkey, said:
"Abstain, my son, abstain, I implore. Those who resort to violence shall suffer
from violence."
"That," said the Fool, diligently belaboring the animal, "is what I'm trying
to teach this beast -- which has kicked me."
"Doubtless," said the Philosopher to himself, as he walked away, "the wisdom
of fools is no deeper nor truer than ours, but they really do seem to have a more
impressive way of imparting it."
The Power of the Scalawag
A Forestry Commissioner had just felled a giant tree when, seeing an honest
man approaching, he dropped his axe and fled. The next day when he cautiously
returned to get his axe, he found the following lines pencilled on the stump:
"What nature reared by centuries of toil, A scalawag in half a day can spoil;
An equal fate for him may Heaven provide - Damned in the moment of his tallest
pride."
The Dog and the Physician
A Dog that had seen a Physician attending the burial of a wealthy patient,
said: "When do you expect to dig it up?"
"Why should I dig it up?" the Physician asked.
"When I bury a bone," said the Dog, "it is with an intention to uncover it
later and pick it."
"The bones that I bury," said the Physician, "are those that I can no longer
pick."
Philosophers Three
A Bear, Fox, and an Opossum were attacked by an inundation.
"Death loves a coward," said the Bear, and went forward to fight the flood.
"What a fool!" said the Fox. "I know a trick worth two of that." And he slipped
into a hollow stump.
"There are malevolent forces," said the Opossum, "which the wise will neither
confront nor avoid. The thing is to know the nature of your antagonist."
So saying the Opossum lay down and pretended to be dead.
An Antidote
A Young Ostrich came to its Mother, groaning with pain and with its wings
tightly crossed upon its stomach.
"What have you been eating?" the Mother asked, with solicitude.
"Nothing but a keg of Nails," was the reply.
"What!" exclaimed the Mother; "a whole keg of Nails, at your age! Why, you
will kill yourself that way. Go quickly, my child, and swallow a claw-hammer."
An Unspeakable Imbecile
A Judge said to a Convicted Assassin:
"Prisoner at the bar, have you anything to say why the death- sentence should
not be passed upon you?"
"Will what I say make any difference?" asked the Convicted Assassin.
"I do not see how it can," the Judge answered, reflectively. "No, it will
not."
"Then," said the doomed one, "I should just like to remark that you are the
most unspeakable old imbecile in seven States and the District of Columbia."
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This collection of Bierce fables courtesy of http://www.humorsphere.com/
, the number 1 destination for jokes, funny pictures and classic humor. Click
Here to visit Humorsphere.
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