| This football joke collection was compiled by HumorSphere.
NOTE: IF you want AMERICAN footie jokes (i.e., not
soccer but NFL) then click here.
- Man Utd jokes - Sir Alex Ferguson
manages the richest club in the world. As the Envy of many, they and the man u
fans seem to get joked about alot. Play at Old Trafford.
- Celtic jokes - Scottish club with Irish heritage.
Fans known as Tims, play at Paradise or Parkhead. Bitter Rivalry with Rangers
supporters. Celtic in the past known for biscuit tin mentality.
- Rangers jokes - Old firm fans get a lot of
jokes made about them. Gers fans are known as Bears or Huns - the club plays at
Ibrox.
- David Beckham jokes - World's most
famous footballer. Marketing man's dreams. Married to Posh Spice Victoria. Joke
writers dream. Has Kids called Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham.
- Aberdeen jokes - Scottish club play at Pittodrie.
Butt of many sheep jokes. Once a top European club when managed by Man United
Sir Alex Ferguson, nowadays they are managed by a Dane, and wallow in former past
glories.
- Liverpool jokes - Scowser ( Liverpudlian
) fans known for their cheeriness. They play at Anfield, famous for the Kop, singing
'you'll never walk alone'. Have won a lot of Uefa trophies.
- Newcastle jokes - Toon fans from North
known for their drinking and wacky humor. Gazza was a gordie. Sir Bobby Robson
manages them. Not known for winning much...
- Chelsea jokes - An English club with a string
of foreign coaches that flatters to deceive. Made up nowadays of many foreigners,
their fans are somewhat feared. Play at Stamford Bridge.
- Arsenal jokes - The gunners play at highbury
in London. French manager, rarely win away in Europe.
- Leeds United jokes - English club. Play at
Elland Road. Terry Venables current manager. Over the last few years in the news
for all the wrong reasons. O'Leary sacking, Woodgate and Bowyer etc...
- Soccer Jokes - as of (Sep 29 2002) an additional
45 non specific classic jokes. I'll add new jokes to this page :)
Here's a few quick slices of the kind of soccer humor on this site, just to
get you in the mood :)
Some Example Football jokes
You're trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a deadly Rattlesnake, and an
Man Utd Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Man United Fan. Twice.
The 7 dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs
to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out
"Rangers are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!"
Q: What do you call a dead Tottenham Supporter in a closet?
A: Last years winner to the hide and seek contest.
Q: Why do Wimbledon fans carry lighters round with them?
A: Because they lose all their matches!
Q: What have Blackburn FC and a three pin plug got in common?
A: Their both absolutely useless in Europe.
A wee fella hands over a £50 note to the turnstyle operator at St James Prk
Fella: Two please.
Turnstyle Operator: Will that be defenders or strikers, sir?
Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: If you see a Liverpool Fan on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit
him?
It might be your bike...
Q: What would you do if you saw a Millwall fan walking towards you with a wound?
A: Stop laughing, reload and shoot again!
Football Links
e-soccer : the central directory
for English football on the net
All the links to football clubs and any sites related to soccer in England, latest
live news and more...
Footy Mundo : huge resource
site with gallons of footie links.
WSoccer.com
Soccer Finder
Fanbase
Elsporto
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