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Apparently, when Peter Beardsley was born he was such an ugly baby that his
parents didn't know whether to put him in a carry cot or a cage!
Q: Why do so many housewives love newcastle?
A: Cos they stay on top for ages and then come second.
Q: What is black and white, black and white and black and white ?
A: A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill
I hear Bellamy has a depressed cheekbone. Still, that never stopped Beardsley
- he's got two of them!
They say that hooliganism and racism are bad, but personally I think that Peter
Beardsley is the totally unacceptable face of British football.
Duncan Ferguson has been sentenced to 6 hours community service. That means
he has to play four games for City!
Fire brigade phones Bobby Robson in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Sir Bobby, St James Park is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Sir Bobby.
"Well...the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Q: Why do they call Bobby Robson hitler?
A: Because he cant win in europe either.
Q. What's the difference between the Toon keeper and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.
Newcastle have moved quickly to halt rumours of a rift between Bobby Robson
and Alan Shearer.
A club spokesman said, "It's ridiculous to suggest that there is a personality
clash between the two - everybody at the club knows that Shearer hasn't got one."
Why do Geordie Supporters have Moustaches?
A: So they can look like their Mothers.
Q: What do Toon fans and laxatives have in common?
A: Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.
Q: What's the ideal weight for a Newcastle supporter?
A: 3 pounds...that's including the Urn.
Quasimodo asks Esmeralda, "Am I really the ugliest b**tard in the world?"
"Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask ?" says Esmeralda.
Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later.
As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks "Well, what did the mirror say ?"
To which Quasimodo replies, "Who's Peter Beardsley?"
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