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Two Scotsmen on their way back from the Uefa Cup Final boarded a flight from Seville heading for London.

One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Englishman got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Scotsmen.

After take-off, the Englishman kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Scot in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."

"Hey, no problem," said the Englishman , "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the Scotsmen picked up the Englishman's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Scotsman said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Englishman obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other Scotsman picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Englishman returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing at Heathrow, the Englishman slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in beers???"

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