Jim
Carrey biography
- Jim was born in Newmarket, Ontario, Canada in 1962. From an early age, Carrey
was the energetic 'performer', even sending his resume at the age of 10 to Carol
Burnett. After leaving school he got his comedy break working at the Comedy Store.
In the 80's minor tv work and a few film roles followed. His career really took
off when he landed 3 big box office comedic roles, with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
quickly followed by The Mask and Dumb & Dumber. Arguably the biggest star
of the mid 90's he went from 1/2 million fees for his early '94 films to $20 million
fees 2 years later for films like Cable Guy. Famously said to have written out
a check ($20 million) to himself and kept it in his wallet till he reached that
goal.
This is
my collection of favorite Jim Carrey movie quotes. Find
Jim Carrey Movies at amazon.
Jim Carrey Movie Quotations
Ace Ventura:
Pet Detective Quotes (1993)
Buy
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Video
Jim Carrey
Buy This Pictures At AllPosters.com
Hey, maybe
I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911? Aaaalrighty then.
If I'm not
back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
Your request
is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger.
[as Scotty
from Star Trek]
I just can't do it captain, I don't have the power.
[As Bones
McCoy]
For God's sakes, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool man!
[as Captain
Kirk, with 'over-emphasis]
Captain's log, stardate 23.9 rounded off to the nearest decimal point. We've traveled
back in time to save an ancient species from total annihilation. SO FAR, no signs
of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another
black hole, I'm going to find it. I've GOT TO, MISTER!
Good question,
Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of
the bug's Dick and become insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 40 pounds... Porkin
his wife!
The Mask Quotes
(1994)
Buy
The Mask DVD - Plays Stanley and The Mask.
Jim Carrey
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[Gets 'shot']
Mask: Hold me closer Ed, it's getting dark. Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out,
(cough cough), tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas, (cough cough),
tell Scarlett I do give a damn, (cough, cough)
Stanley:
[to bank manager] - Back off monkey-boy, or I'll tell your daddy you're running
this place like you're own personal piggie-bank or maybe I should call the IRS
and arrange a little vacation for you at club FED
Stanley:
What is this world coming to when a man's....pyjama drawer is no longer safe?
Mask: No,
it wasn't me, it was the one armed men.
Mask: Our
love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.
Mask: Now,
like Napoleon, I will divide and conquer.
Dumb and Dumber
Quotes (1994)
Buy
Dumb and Dumber DVD
Life is
a fragile thing, Har. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're
dead meat.
Hey, look,
the Monkees. They were a huge influence on the Beatles.
That's it,
I've had it with this dump! We got no food, we got no jobs, our pet's heads are
falling off!!
When I met
Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone
her.
Batman Forever
Quotes (1995)
Buy Batman Forever DVD - Plays the Riddler.
Jim Carrey
Buy This Photo At AllPosters.com
Riddle
me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big, black bat?
You should
have let me in on this. We could have planned it, prepared it, pre-sold the movie
rights!
Tell the
fat lady she's on in five.
[Shoots
down the batplane]
I hope they can find the little black box.
Joygasm!!
Ace Ventura:
When Nature Calls Quotes (1995)
Buy When Nature Calls DVD
Friends,
rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!
Ace: I am
now a child of light, your earthly money holds no appeal to me... Greenwall: 20
thousand dollars.
Ace: Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeaaly?!?!
The urine
stain on your pants signifies that you are a single-shake man, far too busy for
the follow-up jiggle.
Your request
is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.
Fi, fy,
fo, fum, I smell the fingerprints of scum.
The Cable Guy
Quotes (1996)
Buy The Cable Guy DVD
You know
what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music
The future
is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer.
You'll be able to visit the Lube on one channel, or watch female wrestling on
another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend
from Vietnam.
You'd be
surprised how many customers treat me like snot, like I'm a goddamn plumber or
somethin'.
Dry land
is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the
big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It ruless.
I got you
the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make
George Lucas cream in his pants.
He who hesitates,
masturbates.
Free cable
is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
What are
you waiting for? An engraved invitation?
Liar Liar Quotes
(1997)
Buy Liar Liar DVD - Carrey plays Fletcher.
Office Worker:
Yo, Fletcher, how's it hanging?
Fletcher: [groaning] Short, shriveled, and always to the left.
Max: My
teacher tells me the real beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.
It's a good
thing I was wearing neutral gang colors, might had to pull out my nine and bust
a cap!
How much
ass do I have to kiss to make partner in this damn place?
Well thats
cause you've got big jugs. I...I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I want to squeeze
them. I...ma ma...... [puckers up]
The fact
that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant
The Truman Show
Quotes (1998)
Buy The Truman Show DVD
Good morning!
And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.
Somebody
help me, I'm being spontaneous!
The early
bird gathers no moss! The rolling stone catches the worm
Me, Myself &
Irene Quotes (2000)
Buy Me, Myself & Irene DVD - plays Charlie Baielygates and Officer Hank Evans.
Hank Evans:
Charlie's like origami, he folds under pressure.
Charlie:
I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal.
Irene: What's it called?
Charlie: Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.
Hank: I
wasn't gonna just... ram it home, you know. I was gonna... lub it up and ease
it in there, inch by inch, like a gentleman.
[Guy chucks
cigarette onto the ground.]
Hank Evans: Well f**k my ozone.
How the Grinch
Stole Christmas Quotes (2000)
Buy How the Grinch Stole Christmas DVD - Carrey plays the grinch.
One man's
toxic waste is another man's potpourri.
Oh, the
Who-manity!
Blast this
Christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.
[cab drives
by him]
It's because I'm green isn't it?!
