The hit animation
series! Peter Griffin - the wisecracking 'innocent' Father in the cartoon show.
My Favorite Stewie
Griffin Quotes
Stewie: I love God. He's so deliciously evil.
[watching
cheerleaders changing in a locker room]
Stewie: It appears my wee-wee's been stricken with rigor-mortis.
Lois:
It's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane.
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!
Stewie:
Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected
to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids
laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.
Meg:
Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
Stewie:
Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your
wretched womb.
Stewie:
There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much
that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
Stewie:
Am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service
here.
Stu:
Isn't it funny how they say "life is like a box of chocolates"? Well
in your case, dear mother, life is like a box of active grenades!
Stewie
Griffin: Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S"
supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight.
Stewie:
Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and
it's not a toaster.
Meg: Can I be in the play, Mom?
Stewie: Oh yes, you can be the dumpy teenage girl who cries backstage because
no one finds her attractive.
Stewie: By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can
move to Californiay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.
Stewie: For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British
nanny!
Stewie Griffin (picking a booger): Does this not disgust you?
Brian: Kid, you're talkin' to a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.
[Lois
is washing Stewie's hair in the sink]
Stewie Griffin: Careful. It's 'gently rub the scalp', not 'scrub like you're trying
to get the vomit out of a Christmas dress', you stupid holiday drunk.
