I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man
to a blind woman. - S. T. Coleridge
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa
Gabor
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Michel de
Montaigne
Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. - Unknown
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women. -
Marion Smith
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage. - James Holt McGavran
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him - Oscar
Wilde
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the
more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint
Eastwood
There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is
I'll get married again. - Clint Eastwood
The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake - Unknown.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin Kitman
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
Free Business Cards
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face
each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry Youngman
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae West
The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then
marry him - Cher
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too
late. - Max Kauffmann
I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose
as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
- Dorothy Parker
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin
Franklin
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad
one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted - Helen Rowland
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a
car battery. - Erma Bombeck
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. - Lord Byron
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes
Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to
breathe. - Jimmy Durante
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney
Dangerfield
I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow
Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman
